"Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of Holland"
"I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking"
"He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car"
"There are teeth marks in the soap. Why are there teeth marks in the soap.."
"You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can"
"I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet"
"No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative"
God, I love Texts From Last Night. Just you wait and see what September and October will have planned for me. There will be so much of this going on! Can't wait to get back to uni to my friends and have one hell of a time.
