I hate noticing the negative and disappointing aspects of life when I know there are other things I can think of. But sometimes it's just like my mind can't focus on anything else until anger, frustration and lack of understanding forces it out of my thoughts so I once again can see the world positively. It's as if it's something I
need to go through. This time I'm wondering what happened. Are you behind? Has your watch, calendar, laptop, phone or maybe the entire city you live in stopped working? Were you too busy? Was it that difficult to check, like most people do, and notice. Just go "heeey, it's..". Blah. Blah, blah, blah.
And now I will have to hear your excuses. Forced to smile and nod, act as if I understand. I've never done anything like you have to someone in that position. It's no big crime for most - but hey, I'm a woman. And unfortunately for you there is nothing I hate more than what has happened.
Four: One, two, three, four.
One got lost in her/his world and maybe forgot. Maybe I-know-who wouldn't let her/him. Trying to cut the strings. But after so many years that's not acceptable. She/He's the most likely to have a logical explanation to give me - one I might actually believe.
Two is fucking fucked. I don't actually like her/him. So screw her/him for this. She/He can go suck a .. oh no wait, you don't do that.
Three .. well, three really disappointed me. I hoped she/he'd understand, participate, communicate. But she/he let me down. I can easily say this wasn't the first time. I don't know how much longer I can rely on someone when every time I do I wonder if she/he'll move or disappear and leave me alone.
Four. What to say about four.. I was hoping she/he'd give something back today. She/He'd see it, smile and actually feel like leaving something would be natural. Just something short. I did it for her/him, didn't I? I guess receiving for her/him is natural. Maybe your same-of-a-kind friend too. Haven't heard anything. She/He was more of a wish than an expectation. I hoped for a positive surprise. Can't say that's what I got. Nothing.
I'm giving you all four some time. Hoping you'll correct mistakes. That aliens attacked your house, abducted you but that you managed to fight for your life and get away: just because you had to do this (yes, this that you didn't).
Days like these remind me who deserves and who doesn't. It turns out you don't.
