I really don't know what to do anymore. Everything that can go wrong does and it seems I'm all out of any luck I may have had in the future. Not only do things not go okay, they seem to go as badly as possible. Anything I do or do not do goes the wrong way. I can do nothing but just stare at all my hard work go down the drain. I feel like King Midas but without the haunting irony of the gold. Instead everything I touch turns to ash.
If it was because I didn't work hard on this and didn't care, that would be acceptable. But I do my absolute best and I care so much for what I put my mind to that such results completely crush me. It's like no amount of work can make things change. It will just go wrong and I'll stand there helpless. Fighting won't help, I'm an emotional wreck at the verge of destruction by now.
I keep repeating how "it'll all be okay" but I'm running out of options.
What to do, what to do..
